I'm Never A Hero

I feel so much stronger today. The energy and appetite came back last night. 2 hours after reaching home, I was famished and Momo tapau for me a packet of steam chicken rice, of which I finished off till the last bit of rice. For 2 days in a row, I had been trying to leave office by 5.30pm sharp, but still I overshoot to almost 6.00pm. Guilt must have overcome me as usual.

Last week I have spoken to my boss about my pregnancy and he did advise me to know how to delegate my work to my juniors so that I have more time for myself and to get enough rest I needed. So by right I should not be feeling guilty whenever I pass by his room on my way out. Could not help it, but it's one thing I need to learn and to adjust my mindset.

Moreover, since most of my colleagues and HR has also known about it, including the site accident I had last week, at least the HR have shown some empathy and willing to try to speak further on my behalf to my boss so that I can be involved less in site activities except meetings and normal visits. I know my boss is not in an 'asshole' category, but sometimes he just likes to push me to my limits and see how far I can go before I break. Yeaa.. at least that's what he told me personally some times ago. His reason is that so I can become stronger and be a good example to my colleagues, showing that I can do a good job, if not better by being a female for doing what I do- a coolie that is hehe...

But I think this time is definitely not the right moment for me to become a hero! Not that I ever want to anyway. Futhermore, everybody has been advising me to be extra careful so that the incident did not happen again, as if it was my fault altogether. Of course I insist that it was not my fault, the danger at that particular site was a mishap waiting to happen. Yesterday we revisit the place and the facility personnel has taken the liberty to cut off all the sharp angles which was getting on the human traffic way. They could have done that long time ago, considering that the angle is rusty and obviously had been there for ages!